Quite a few people lately have asked me how this pregnancy has compared to Ember Eve’s pregnancy. My short answer response is that in many ways it is easier because I’ve been through it once before and feel much more comfortable and confident about what’s happening. The main exception is increased exhaustion associated with running after a 1-year-old. I thought about the similarities and differences a bit more and made a short list.
What’s the Same:
(1) Struggling with body image – As I’ve mentioned, it’s difficult for me to accept and adjust to my changing body. I’ve been an athlete most of my life, and it’s hard to see pregnancy body changes when I’ve been careful about my figure for much of my adult life. I LOVE food, and I maintain a certain weight by exercising to compensate for how much I love food. This can be a bit more difficult in pregnancy since I have to be mindful of the type of exercise I engage in during the later weeks of pregnancy (now). I’ve struggled with this during both pregnancies, and I think I always will. It doesn’t help that I didn’t return to pre-pregnancy weight before getting pregnant again. I definitely have my work cut out for me this fall!
(2) Exercising – As with Ember’s pregnancy, I try to exercise 5ish days a week. As I’ve mentioned in previous postings, this keeps me happy and sane. I’m fortunate that I feel well enough and have doctor clearance to exercise as much as I do.
(3) Missing sports – I miss sports this pregnancy as much as I did during Ember’s pregnancy, though I suppose it’s a bit easier since I’m accustomed to it. But still–I miss playing so much, especially when my team travels for fun tournaments like they did this past weekend. I try not to think about it too much, and it has gotten easier.
(4) Feeling guilt – I feel guilty sometimes because I don’t love being pregnant, and this has been true for both pregnancies. I wish I appreciated or enjoyed pregnancy more, but I don’t.
(5) Loving the movement – The best part of both pregnancies has been feeling the baby move. It’s one of the most bizarre, wonderful experiences that is tough to explain.
(6) Struggling with names – I do not love most girl names. I have a long list of baby boy names that I LOVE. As with Ember Eve’s pregnancy, I am not wild about any names at this point. I hope one hits me (or Rob) soon! I can’t remember when I fell in love with the name Ember, but it was late in my pregnancy, so there’s hope it will happen again!
What’s Different:
(1) Feeling exhausted – With Ember’s pregnancy, I could rest when I wanted. I haven’t slept well at night during either pregnancy, but now I can’t nap whenever I want to. I’m so busy taking care of Ember Eve that I’m dead tired most evenings. This exhaustion is very different than early pregnancy exhaustion (that’s rough, too). This exhaustion = I sit against a wall and feel like crying because I can’t muster up enough energy to brush my teeth and get into bed. Sometimes I wish I had waited longer between pregnancies since Ember is in full-blown wild-child phase. But who knows how long that will continue…maybe long enough that it wouldn’t have mattered if I waited.
(2) Experiencing less overall worry/fear – I miscarried before Ember’s pregnancy, and it was relatively complicated. Because of that experience, I was very nervous and worried during Ember’s pregnancy. The slightest new symptom caused me to begin googling and worrying about what it meant. Now, I’m so busy that I don’t have the time to stress and worry about likely insignificant issues.
(3) Letting go of strict food/weight maintenance – During Ember’s pregnancy, I used a nutrition/food app and weighed myself pretty often. I logged all the food I ate and paid attention to macros, etc. I was dead set on gaining less than X amount. I suppose it worked because I didn’t gain more than I hoped, and Ember turned out super healthy. But this pregnancy? Please. I don’t have the time to tinker with a freaking nutrition app, nor do I want to. It was stressful and made me feel like I was failing some of the time. Juggling everything I’m juggling = I’m glad when I eat decent meals. I’m often snacking on the go, and I still try to eat as healthy as I can, but the reality is that I don’t have the time, energy, or interest for that level of food or weight maintenance. I’m also tired of being so damn hard on myself. I have never believed the mantra eating for two, and I don’t indulge just because I’m pregnant. I think living like that is a mistake many pregnant women make. But I also don’t want to stress out or beat myself up if I’m hungry and eat healthy overall.If I gain more than X amount this time, so be it. I exercise and eat pretty healthy, and that’s the best I can do at this point. Based on my weight at my doc appointment this morning, I’m pretty much on track, so maybe I never needed to use the app anyway!
(4) Drinking coffee- I didn’t drink coffee during the first tri of either pregnancy; however, I started drinking coffee sooner during this pregnancy. With Ember’s pregnancy, I drank coffee mostly during the third tri and not daily. This pregnancy, I started in the second tri and drink it almost every day. I stay within the “safe limits,” and I enjoy the hell out that coffee in the morning. Quite frankly, I need it to function! Again, I’m tired of reading about why you should avoid caffeine at all costs during pregnancy and why you shouldn’t do this or this or this. Pregnant women are inundated with dos and don’ts (my spell-checker wanted me to change don’ts to donuts…and now I am thinking about donuts..awesome) and I’m so tired of it. For the love of god, let us enjoy one cup of coffee in the morning, all right? Enough already!
(5) Understanding what is to come – With Ember’s pregnancy, I was apprehensive about the delivery and newborn phrase. Now that I’ve been through it, I’m more relaxed about what’s to come. I’m anxious in some ways, but I think I’ll be much more relaxed during the delivery and the newborn phrase for baby 2.
Overall, both pregnancies have been relatively easy, and I’m grateful. Now, I’m off to see if I can take a quick nap while Ember Eve finishes her nap. Fingers crossed I can get about 20 minutes!